An Ode To Existence

i am such a lame dork

and i prove this to myself everyday. doing (or not doing) things in such a way that i wish i had a time machine so i could go back and do them better. yeh...it's probably no big deal, but i'm still kicking myself over it. jason, jason, jason....why don't you ever learn?!?

so i finally found a place that's actually taking signups for comments, and managed to get it working after messing with the layout for a few hours. it could have waited, but i really needed to get my mind off my retardedness. now i must go to sleep as quickly as possible to avoid thinking. and God, if you could somehow give me a groundhog day, or instill some level of social competence in me overnight, that'd be much appreciated. i'm outtie 5k. God bless.

sounds: air french band - talisman
food for thought: revolution within - dwight edwards

hello mr. bigglesworth

it's frikkin freezing in here! so i guess october in north carolina means significantly colder weather, unlike october in socali. you'd think i would have learned that after three years out here, and perhaps become slightly accustomed to the frost inducing temperatures, but somehow i've managed to avoid that. jay and i tried turning on the heat tuesday....yeh, that didn't work so well. we come to find out from our schmutz property owner that we're supposed to call the gas company and have them turn it on. thanks for the warning dude. and so, like all government beuracracies, the gas guy tells us he won't be here til next wednesday. bundle up!

so everybody's got these new blogs with nice looking templates. i wanted to change mine, but apparently i'm limited to the same ugly ones that existed when i signed up. so sad! guess i'll have to stick with this. what i would like to do is get some of that commenting going on here. seems everyone but me knows how to do this. every time i go to that yaccs place they say they aren't taking new sign ups, and then another one of my friends gets it. how is this working? perhaps there is some conspiracy to keep me out of the technological loop. they can't hold me out forever!

if y'all are still reading this, i am amazed. i have nothing worthwile to say tonight, just writing for the sake of writing something. i suppose you're just reading this for the sake of reading it. works for me. what i need is some sleep cuz i feel like a dead man walking (not that kind). good night my peoples. God's grace and blessings be with you.

sounds: nothing, winamp is spazzing on me
food for thought: psalm 86 - king david, inspired by God

cold & rain

are a lethal combination. whenever you want to put someone to sleep, just make the weather cold & rainy and BOOYAH! they'll be out like a fat kid in dodgeball. not that i mind that. i actually like sleeping, so it's all good. i'm just saying....

so i woke up the painfully early hour of 8:30 (that's early for a vacation day, right?) to go to work cuz the sign i saw last week said monday tutoring was cancelled, but didn't mention anything about tuesday. of course i walk in there and see today is crossed out in the log sheet, so basically i got up early for nothing. it was hard enough to drag myself out of the nice warm bed because of the weather, but to make it all for naught? that's just wrong. the rest of my day so far has consisted of me chillin on the lazy boy recliner with a book and blanket (classic rainy day position), foolishly thinking that i would actually get work done. instead, i fell asleep and napped for a couple of hours. that was probably my subconscious intention, but i at least had to pretend i was gonna do work.

sadly break is coming to an end, but i've thoroughly enjoyed it. each day has been stress free yet productive, and then i somehow managed to find something to do each night so that i'd have some sort of social contact within a 24 hour period. yesterday e came over and we studied for a good while then went to cosmic for a late dinner. i must say i enjoyed your company as always e, and thanks for getting me to do some work which otherwise may not have been done. we'll have to do that more often. the only drawback of studying is that it seems have the effect of draining all the energy from your body. i have yet to figure out exactly where this energy goes (surely not into the books i read) but i was dead tired at 11:30. of course as soon as i got into bed i couldn't fall asleep and the tick tock of the clock was magnified like one hundred bajillion times...bout drove me nuts. so after an hour of lying there i got up and journaled til 2 before the body finally did what the mind wanted and shut down.

i think i'll go running with jay now, and hopefully get some more work done. pizzles my nizzles. God bless.

sounds: james taylor - carolina on my mind
food for thought: a history of russia, the soviet union, and beyond - david mackenzie

a revelation

i went with mojo and his friend neal to the driving range tonight and sucked it up like a newborn attacking a bottle. of the 60 or so balls i attempted to hit, perhaps 10 or so actually went somewhere worth mentioning, while the majority just rolled a few feet along the grass. it took me a good 10 minutes of completely whiffing on my swings to even make contact with the ball on a consistent basis. i can swing a bat, throw or catch a pass, make a jumpshot, and even boot a soccerball pretty good (for a gringo at least), but for the life of my i can't drive a golfball anywhere. i have come to the conclusion that golf is not a game for people from the ghetto, and no, tiger woods doesn't count! he's from cypress, which is in orange county, and they have no poor neigborhoods there. yeh mojo, i don't think i'll be taking you up on that round of golf tomorrow. but it was still a fun and amusing experience. perhaps with a little more practice things would change.

break has been pretty relaxing so far. yesterday i slept in until 2:30 (pm, just in case you were wondering), getting 12 hours of sleep for the first time in like three months. i haven't done much other than clean the house, do some laundry, and watch a lot of sports on tv, but sometimes you need to just do nothing. last night russell, jamie, suzy and some others came over and we cooked breakfast food for dinner (chocolate chip/blueberry pancakes, home fries, russell's burnt cinnamon rolls) and watched monty python & the holy grail. what an odd movie that is. i do plan on eventually getting some schoolwork done, but that's probably gonna have to wait until tomorrow, as it's already 2 am and i'm trying not to stay up so late so that i don't sleep in. i also hope to finally get a dresser tomorrow. you'd think that i wouldn't be able to go this long without one, but somehow i manage to do these things. like 7 weeks on $40 of groceries....now that's an accomplishment. hopefully i won't have to do that again, even if it is like experiencing my very own bread & fish miracle, only with kraft mac & cheese and frozen chicken strips.

so how 'bout them angels? marching on to the world series with a serious butt whoopin' of the twins tonight. four more games baby :) ok, i really should hit the sack. good night and God bless.

sounds: lynyrd skynyrd - the ballad of curtis lowe
food for thought: the european reformation - carter lindberg