Thursday, July 08, 2004
in paul's defense
being the thin skinned pansy that he is, paul took offense to the implication in my june 25 post that he was only at the concert to see john mayer (sorry, i think that's what trackback is for, but i'm really not sure, nor do i know how to go about acquiring & installing it. just deal). let the record show that jason blair is not so prideful that he is unable to step back from an incorrect assertion. paul was not just there to see john mayer. in fact, paul was the one who introduced kat to m5, who then fulfilled her friendly duty in passing the goods along to me. i must thank him for the wonderful discovery and her for sharing it.
however, as they saying goes, even a blind pig finds an acorn every once in a while (as an aside, apparently that really is the way the saying goes. i always thought it had to do with a blind man accomplishing something or a blind squirrel finding a nut. but i guess that would make too much sense. and what the heck is a pig doing eating acorns anyway?). i will spare you the ugly details of paul's numerous and grossly poor decisions when it comes to music, but let me tell you a story (completely ficticious, of course) to demonstrate my point.
once upon a time, there were four friends named sir gay*, daflub, paco & magoo. they passed many a saturday morning and afternoon volunteering together at various charitable events, and many of their spring saturday evenings were spent acting in typical teenage male fashion at various key club banquets.
on one particular saturday, after gallantly sacrificing the opportunity to sleep in for making breakfast for the homeless or cleaning up litter on a beach, they decided to reward themselves with small treat. sir gay, the eldest of our four heroes and the only one with access to a steed (read: he had his own set of wheels) obliged with the mode of transportation, and so our friends went a house of minstrel (a cd store), each with the intention of making a purchase.
let it be noted that at this point in time, each of our young protagonists had distinctly different tastes in music, and had not yet grown to cherish all good music (some still haven't, but that's another story). sir gay was (and pretty much still is) into all things rock, and so chose to barter for the newly released album by a band formerly known as rage against the machine.
daflub, for his part, was at this time experiencing a period of angst and perhaps even fear over a recently ended relationship with a seemingly unstable, though quite striking member of the opposite sex (they have since smoothed things over and are friends to this day). understanably, he was in the mood for something smooth and calming that, perhaps, might also bring him a little more luck with the ladies, and so his choice was maxwell's urban hang suite.
magoo, the youngest, most energetic and protege of the group was simply looking for a reason to "shake what his mama gave him" (let the record show that magoo was and still is chinese...just think about that for a second) and made his choice accordingly: usher's you make me wanna...
last, and (sadly, in this case) least, came paco, who had no real discernable method of choosing his music. this is to say, that he had no discernibly logical way of making his choice. indeed, when he arrived at the checkout line, paco was holding none other than duncan sheik's cd single wishful thinking from the great expectations soundtack (which, by the way, was a fairly decent movie). when queried by an understandably shocked and confused magoo as to why he would actually consider wasting his parents' hard earned "skrilla" (as was the choice of slang for the word "dollar" among the younger generations at the time), paco simply replied "i buy my music based on what the cover looks like."
"you can't be serious!" exclaimed the flabbergasted flub. but alas, paco was indeed serious about making this particular purchase. daflub continued to quiz, "do you always choose your music like this?" "yes!" came the seemingly defensive retort. "and how often is the music actually good?" daflub inquired, driving toward the obvious conclusion. "shutup!" was the only reply paco could muster before turning to the local clerk and completing his transaction.
***SIDE NOTE***
following this supposed logic, no matter how numerous and obvious it's fallacies may be, and considering the age of our story's characters at which these events took place, you cannot blame paco for his choice (children, avert your eyes!).
***END SIDE NOTE***
as the four friends walked back through the outdoor stable where their loyal steed awaited, debate raged over who would get to try their new disc out first. although magoo made an impassioned plea that would have, in other circumstances, moved the french to war and caused the u.n. to take functionally preventative measures in iraq, in the end paco won out because of the common curiousity amongst his companions as to how much his choice of music would suck.
"you know, you can still return or exchange it as long as you don't rip the plastic off. it's not too late man, don't do this to yourself!" implored daflub, in a last ditch effort to save his friend from irrevocably consumating the purchase, but his words fell on deaf ears. "this should be good," sir gay opined (sarcastically of course. oh, where would we be without sarcasm?), as paco eagerly tore through the devilishly annoying cellophane that you can never seem to open and inserted his disc into the player.
what next exuded from the speakers could only be kindly described as "a horrible song with some fruity guy singing over a lame ass track" by magoo (all further details have since been repressed to deeper levels of the subconscious). after subjecting themselves this "music" for over thirty seconds, paco finally conceded defeat in the form of a string of unrepeatable words (this is, after all, a family friendly website) while the rest of the group had a good laugh at his expense. magoo proceeded to insert his preferred disc and demonstrate the new "rump shakin' moves" he had in store for that night's banquet. as our four friends rode off to prepare for that night, daflub felt it necessary to remind paco that he had tried to warn his friend about the imminent peril he was in before it was too late. this only set paco off again, and the boys had a hearty laugh as the rode off into the sunset.
DISCLAIMER: the characters and their actions in this story are strictly fictitious. any apparent relevance to real, live people and/or actual events is strictly coincidental and has no bearing on the constitution of what you've just read.
*AUTHOR'S NOTE: gay as in happy, of course! anyone who knows sir gay would never even consider classifying him with the other definition of that word, especially when taking the sum of his actions into account.
so while his taste in music may very well be, as paul would say, "a hoopla of anything and everything that may be out there," i contend that i've just demonstrated this is not necessarily a good thing. and about me being a "lil whipp'd puppee," well number one i feel quite confident in saying that i'm pretty far from that state of being, and you can ask the would be whipper just in case you have any doubts. and secondly, let's just think twice before we start throwing that accusation around shall we? as much as enjoyed the past hour and a half, i don't really have time to write another ficticious story. so stick that in your pipe and smoke it ;)
symphonic melodies: south - paint the silence
brain eats: the journal
being the thin skinned pansy that he is, paul took offense to the implication in my june 25 post that he was only at the concert to see john mayer (sorry, i think that's what trackback is for, but i'm really not sure, nor do i know how to go about acquiring & installing it. just deal). let the record show that jason blair is not so prideful that he is unable to step back from an incorrect assertion. paul was not just there to see john mayer. in fact, paul was the one who introduced kat to m5, who then fulfilled her friendly duty in passing the goods along to me. i must thank him for the wonderful discovery and her for sharing it.
however, as they saying goes, even a blind pig finds an acorn every once in a while (as an aside, apparently that really is the way the saying goes. i always thought it had to do with a blind man accomplishing something or a blind squirrel finding a nut. but i guess that would make too much sense. and what the heck is a pig doing eating acorns anyway?). i will spare you the ugly details of paul's numerous and grossly poor decisions when it comes to music, but let me tell you a story (completely ficticious, of course) to demonstrate my point.
THE TOWER RECORDS CAPER
once upon a time, there were four friends named sir gay*, daflub, paco & magoo. they passed many a saturday morning and afternoon volunteering together at various charitable events, and many of their spring saturday evenings were spent acting in typical teenage male fashion at various key club banquets.
on one particular saturday, after gallantly sacrificing the opportunity to sleep in for making breakfast for the homeless or cleaning up litter on a beach, they decided to reward themselves with small treat. sir gay, the eldest of our four heroes and the only one with access to a steed (read: he had his own set of wheels) obliged with the mode of transportation, and so our friends went a house of minstrel (a cd store), each with the intention of making a purchase.
let it be noted that at this point in time, each of our young protagonists had distinctly different tastes in music, and had not yet grown to cherish all good music (some still haven't, but that's another story). sir gay was (and pretty much still is) into all things rock, and so chose to barter for the newly released album by a band formerly known as rage against the machine.
daflub, for his part, was at this time experiencing a period of angst and perhaps even fear over a recently ended relationship with a seemingly unstable, though quite striking member of the opposite sex (they have since smoothed things over and are friends to this day). understanably, he was in the mood for something smooth and calming that, perhaps, might also bring him a little more luck with the ladies, and so his choice was maxwell's urban hang suite.
magoo, the youngest, most energetic and protege of the group was simply looking for a reason to "shake what his mama gave him" (let the record show that magoo was and still is chinese...just think about that for a second) and made his choice accordingly: usher's you make me wanna...
last, and (sadly, in this case) least, came paco, who had no real discernable method of choosing his music. this is to say, that he had no discernibly logical way of making his choice. indeed, when he arrived at the checkout line, paco was holding none other than duncan sheik's cd single wishful thinking from the great expectations soundtack (which, by the way, was a fairly decent movie). when queried by an understandably shocked and confused magoo as to why he would actually consider wasting his parents' hard earned "skrilla" (as was the choice of slang for the word "dollar" among the younger generations at the time), paco simply replied "i buy my music based on what the cover looks like."
"you can't be serious!" exclaimed the flabbergasted flub. but alas, paco was indeed serious about making this particular purchase. daflub continued to quiz, "do you always choose your music like this?" "yes!" came the seemingly defensive retort. "and how often is the music actually good?" daflub inquired, driving toward the obvious conclusion. "shutup!" was the only reply paco could muster before turning to the local clerk and completing his transaction.
***SIDE NOTE***
following this supposed logic, no matter how numerous and obvious it's fallacies may be, and considering the age of our story's characters at which these events took place, you cannot blame paco for his choice (children, avert your eyes!).
***END SIDE NOTE***
as the four friends walked back through the outdoor stable where their loyal steed awaited, debate raged over who would get to try their new disc out first. although magoo made an impassioned plea that would have, in other circumstances, moved the french to war and caused the u.n. to take functionally preventative measures in iraq, in the end paco won out because of the common curiousity amongst his companions as to how much his choice of music would suck.
"you know, you can still return or exchange it as long as you don't rip the plastic off. it's not too late man, don't do this to yourself!" implored daflub, in a last ditch effort to save his friend from irrevocably consumating the purchase, but his words fell on deaf ears. "this should be good," sir gay opined (sarcastically of course. oh, where would we be without sarcasm?), as paco eagerly tore through the devilishly annoying cellophane that you can never seem to open and inserted his disc into the player.
what next exuded from the speakers could only be kindly described as "a horrible song with some fruity guy singing over a lame ass track" by magoo (all further details have since been repressed to deeper levels of the subconscious). after subjecting themselves this "music" for over thirty seconds, paco finally conceded defeat in the form of a string of unrepeatable words (this is, after all, a family friendly website) while the rest of the group had a good laugh at his expense. magoo proceeded to insert his preferred disc and demonstrate the new "rump shakin' moves" he had in store for that night's banquet. as our four friends rode off to prepare for that night, daflub felt it necessary to remind paco that he had tried to warn his friend about the imminent peril he was in before it was too late. this only set paco off again, and the boys had a hearty laugh as the rode off into the sunset.
THE END
DISCLAIMER: the characters and their actions in this story are strictly fictitious. any apparent relevance to real, live people and/or actual events is strictly coincidental and has no bearing on the constitution of what you've just read.
*AUTHOR'S NOTE: gay as in happy, of course! anyone who knows sir gay would never even consider classifying him with the other definition of that word, especially when taking the sum of his actions into account.
so while his taste in music may very well be, as paul would say, "a hoopla of anything and everything that may be out there," i contend that i've just demonstrated this is not necessarily a good thing. and about me being a "lil whipp'd puppee," well number one i feel quite confident in saying that i'm pretty far from that state of being, and you can ask the would be whipper just in case you have any doubts. and secondly, let's just think twice before we start throwing that accusation around shall we? as much as enjoyed the past hour and a half, i don't really have time to write another ficticious story. so stick that in your pipe and smoke it ;)
symphonic melodies: south - paint the silence
brain eats: the journal
